somebody snuck up and got me drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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