i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
