stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
