she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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