Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
