Your mouth is God's brothel.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
