I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
