i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm like, not good at living.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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