If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
