considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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