note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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