They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
