and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize