Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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