You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
