Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
