have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
