I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
