Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
