Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
