Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
