I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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