I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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