i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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