shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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