i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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