she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
