Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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