i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
