What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
