Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
