they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
