we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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