its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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