fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
