YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
