Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
