I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
