I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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