Yo dont text me then not text me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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