so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
