Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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