Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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