you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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