Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
