Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i think i just lost a toe
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
