Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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