whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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