I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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