i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
