everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
