i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
