what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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