no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you still have your period?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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