I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
