I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
