I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
