Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
