Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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